and tell me everything.

soooooo i went to youth group tonight. it was actually pretty fun. im being completely serious with this. i liked it and plan to ask off every wednesday now. might cause some controversy at work, but hey. i enjoyed it. and tims cool. i really like that guy. hes super nice and... loves god. i wish i could say the same about me. i felt so great being there though. ive been doubting god for quite some time now, but tonight was amazing. im going to continue going. tim said something to jen about her looking really in shape. it kinda killed her cause shes like "its more of exactly the opposite..." she started talking to him near the end about her whole dealio. he really wants to help. we all do. damn, i love that girl. so much, it hurts sometimes. i really hope she gets everything figured out soon. im scared.

and i think ive given up on jake. havent seen him in forever and he doesnt bother talking to me ever. im starting to not care. like tim said, just let god take over. hell do whatever to make everything work out like its supposed to. heck, im still going to try to fight this. ill get over it eventually. cause damn, i really like that kid.

ellens about gone. its really sad. im going to miss her even though she didnt like me much. shes a very strong lady. shes fought so hard for so freaking long. but after 9 years, i can see why shes sick of this and just wants to go. fuck cancer. so bobbies off the rest of the week. thisll make things difficult... hm.

im tired and sick of school already. so adios amigos!