and just walk away.

a lot of people i love are moving away this weekend. well, some of them. dont know exactly when jake is leaving, havent talked to him in a while... but meredith and blake are. chirs and kade are too. its gunna suck. schools not the same at all without all of these kids.

amy and i went to fort dodge yesterday and saw kade on duuuuuty in his lovely target uniform. she told him that him and blake need to give me and her a motorcycle ride... bahahaha. i personally wouldnt mind which one i was on. theyre both pretty boys. :P

speaking of blake, i hung out with him last night for a while. he said we needed to hang out before he left. it wasnt much too exciting. sat at the skate park with him and peck, they were smoking some sort of cigars. damn. blake chews too. i knew all of them did. but gross. a bunch of other kids showed up too. it was awkward as hell but the cop parked behind me so i couldnt really leave that easily. im pretty sure when i did leave they all talked shit about me. i didnt belong there and i shouldve left a loooooong time before i did. i thought i was gunna get a hug, but i didnt. probably cause all of his friends were there and im just a plain loser. gay. im really going to miss him. idk why though. i thought hed hate me after running into him. but apparently not. he says he likes me too. but hes just... idk.

im all sorts of confused. ive been hating life for quite a while now. and i think its mostly because of these stupid guys... mainly the one. but idk. i need a new obsession... haha.

oh, and andrews back. i think he was mad cause i didnt go see him at godfathers when he was up there yesterday. i was at jens, she was sick. sorrrrrrrry! bahahaha.

well i have to work a nice three to close today. not wanting to do that at all. maybe if im cool ill see blake again tonight. ugh, help me.