apologize, cut myself down to nothing.

its been a good month since ive even thought about writing on here. not so much the good part though. a lot of shits been going on. and i just realized i really have to pee. anyway...

i ended up hanging out with jacob one day after all. i went out to his house and it was alright. im pretty sure he hates me now. i havent talked to him forever and im pretty sure hes got a girlfriend/almost has one. hes been going to the movies and crap with her and then his brother and his girlfriend on the weekends when hes back. figures. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck life. i need to forget about him. badly.

uuuuuuum. im getting fucking pissed off at everyone at work. especially these new girls who keep saying they cant work so then i have to fucking go in. l;kajsdjf serisouly. what the hell? i got called in tonight and i wanted to go to youth group. hopefully i can get closed up early so i can still go. if not, imma be super fucking pissed beyond belief.

schools a drag. i hate comp, most of all. ms lilly is so dumb. i cant stand her. her and her missle titties. if i knew how to type sounds, i would. because i just made a fun sound while i was thinking that. it was great.

what else... oh, i saw my grandpa this past weekend. hes doing amazing compared to what they said. hes walking without the walker even. but his brains a tad bit messed up. poor guy thinks its like 15 years ago.

the twilight series is amazing. im on the third book now. and im so addicted. crazy, i read two and a half books in one month! ow ow! haha. edward, omg. im just another crazy girl. :P

so turns out i have 2 out of the 3 causes of suicide or whatever, according to the guy on dr phil. 1) i feel like a burdon to other people and think everyone would be better off without me. and 2) i feel alone, like im outside looking in. i dont fit it. hey look, i have like no friends. and ive been used and such. i dont trust easily. go me. and then theres the last one. 3) fearlessness. but im definitely not that. im scared of everything, especially death. and being alone for the rest of my life. ugh.

and i cant figure out how to post this thing like i used to. its pissing me off. i dont want it double freaking spaced!

yeah, i dont know what else. i need to quit hating life, thats for sure. i cant wait to get the hell out of here.  and now im off to work. fuuuuck life. yay!