do the hellen keller, and talk with your hips.



i fail at keeping up with this thing. its almost been two months. holy hell. a lot of shits been going on. i dont know what to do with my life. its freezing. im tired, so i should go to bed.

"it all comes," said rabbit sternly, "of eating too much. i thought at the time." said rabbit, "only i didnt like to say antything," said rabbit. "that one of us was eating too much," said rabbit. "and i knew it wasnt me," he said.

oh, but it is me. i eat way to fucking much. and im fat. not getting any smaller. im going to start using this thing religiously and write down what i eat every day. i had that app on facebook once, and i was doing okay. then went camping and it went to hell. hopefully this works. i hate being big. ugly. fat. sick.

well, im tired. and i have to get up in sixish hours. and ive got my fucking period. ugh. tonight will be tons of fun, not.

right now, right this very moment... start eating better. and/or starve. fast. who the hell knows. i want to fit into a medium comfortably at least. i dont want to be soooo small, thats sick. a good holly/chan size. theyre decent. even ashley smith or jacie. theyve both got a little chub, but cute. and tinyish. hell, even steph. EFFFFFFF MY LIFE!
 

and tell me everything.

soooooo i went to youth group tonight. it was actually pretty fun. im being completely serious with this. i liked it and plan to ask off every wednesday now. might cause some controversy at work, but hey. i enjoyed it. and tims cool. i really like that guy. hes super nice and... loves god. i wish i could say the same about me. i felt so great being there though. ive been doubting god for quite some time now, but tonight was amazing. im going to continue going. tim said something to jen about her looking really in shape. it kinda killed her cause shes like "its more of exactly the opposite..." she started talking to him near the end about her whole dealio. he really wants to help. we all do. damn, i love that girl. so much, it hurts sometimes. i really hope she gets everything figured out soon. im scared.

and i think ive given up on jake. havent seen him in forever and he doesnt bother talking to me ever. im starting to not care. like tim said, just let god take over. hell do whatever to make everything work out like its supposed to. heck, im still going to try to fight this. ill get over it eventually. cause damn, i really like that kid.

ellens about gone. its really sad. im going to miss her even though she didnt like me much. shes a very strong lady. shes fought so hard for so freaking long. but after 9 years, i can see why shes sick of this and just wants to go. fuck cancer. so bobbies off the rest of the week. thisll make things difficult... hm.

im tired and sick of school already. so adios amigos!

about the stupidest of things.

oh man, i finally figured this thing out. you have no idea how excited i am! it only took me a little less than forever. haha. and its almost 4:00 in the morning. i need to get to bed sooner since schools starting in like... shit. three days? sick, im tired.